Today, I woke up intending to go the gym early for some classes. Instead, I stayed in bed as my hubby and cat were all cuddled up to me and I didn’t want to disturb them. Straight away the anxiety and depression started trying to set in. Maybe I would just stay in bed and pull the covers over my head. Instead I forced myself out of bed and decided that I would go and do my own workout in the gym, in my own time. I classed this as a win.
I then got to the gym. Got myself a few pb’s for deadlifts, leg curl and glute extension, but my knee started hurting, which stopped me continuing with my planned session. Again, depression and anxiety wanted to set in. But instead of just sitting on the floor and crying right there about how pain is getting in the way of what I want to do (which is what I really wanted to do), I changed around my session and found myself different exercises that I could do without hurting my knee. I classed this as a win.
So this afternoon, I was aiming to go out walking with my hubby and the dogs, however it’s raining, so I didn’t go. Again, depression and anxiety started kicking in. How dare the weather stop my plans. Can’t anything go right for me today? But instead, I pushed through that feeling and have spent a productive hour writing PT plans for the week. This now means that I have time to do some course work, which I haven’t done in weeks, and even have time to write this blog before I start work this evening. I’m disappointed I couldn’t go for a walk today, plus I’m trying not to cry about this, but I’m classing this as a win.
Its now 3pm and I have 2 hours for course work and distract myself from letting the depression take hold, before I start work for the evening.
Who is stronger today? Me or depression? Will I win today? Who knows.