I’ve known for a few years that I was eventually going to give up teaching and become a full time personal trainer. I’ve reduced my teaching hours over the past 3 years and starting building up my PT business.
I finally decided to take the plunge and give up teaching in July this year, however, since September, I realised my heart wasn’t in my teaching anymore and I was becoming more and more anxious and unhappy at school. So just before Christmas, I put my notice in to stop teaching at Easter, instead of in the summer.
Making the decision to stop teaching and become a full time personal trainer, was a difficult one for me… What if my business fails? What if I’m not good enough? Then what?
I knew that I only had 3 months left of teaching, and that it was just count down until D-Day! I could do this!!
However, anxiety and depression reared its ugly head and I couldn’t face being in front of a class of children incase a panic attacks occurs. I was signed off sick in January.
3 months later, I’m still signed off from school and tomorrow, my contract ends. I am going in to say goodbye to the staff and the life I’ve known for 14 years!
I am sad I’ve finished my teaching career this way, but know that my place is no longer in a classroom teaching children.
My pride is wounded. I have always known I was a great teacher and I’ve loved it… But depression and anxiety changed all that!
I wanted to go out on a high! To walk away as a confident, successful teacher, who has decided that personal training is her passion now.
Instead, I feel like I’m crawling out the back-door, with my self-esteem at an all time low, having let anxiety and depression take over my brain.
Depression and anxiety has won this battle, but I refuse to allow them to win the war on my life.
My teaching career may have ended, but my life hasn’t!
New and exciting times await me now, I just need to get to grips with my anxiety and depression to allow those exciting times to happen. As right now, new and exciting times are just too overwhelming for me and scare the **** out of me.
But one day, they won’t be so scary….
I look forward to that day!